>ELDER GOD OF FOUNTAIN PENS
TWSBI Eco. Lasts forever. Never dries out. Never leaks. Yes if you're an ape it'll crack or start leaking. It's a fucking pen. Don't pull it apart to clean out glitter ink or press down to flex the nib and you'll be fine. When fountain pens were normal writing equipment people usually stuck with one ink for the life of the pen, and forcibly flexing nibs was for people that liked replacing pens.
>ELDER GOD OF NORMAL PENS
Pilot evolt. Red ballpoint, black ballpoint, and a mechancal pencil in a normal looking body. Let me guess, you need more?
>ELDER GOD OF AUTISTIC PENS
Sakura pigma micron PN. The ink is highly chemical resistant, more than any noodlers bulletproof security ink, so document/check washing is nearly impossible.