Please help me anons. My girlfriend cheated on me and got pregnant. She kept stalling the paternity test and now I'm stuck paying child support. Not only that, she claimed I raped her. She has no evidence, on account of I didn't do it, so I won't go to prison. But my job fired me to save face, my college expelled me too. Now I have over 50,000$ in debt, no job in the city is willing to touch me with a 10-foot minimum wage pole, I had to sell my bike and shitty car to help pay off debt, I don't even have 100$ in savings and my landlord will kick me out any day now, and on top of all that I started having the worst diarrhea of my life every single day for weeks now. What do I do anons. I feel like shit even asking for this here but... *Pulls off mask to reveal I'm actually the loch ness monster* Can I have tree fiddy?